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Due to legislation recently introduced by the Government of Canada to punish people for thinking politically incorrect thoughts, coupled with new sexually repressive measures currently being shepherded through the Parliament of Canada to censor the entire open Internet 'for the children' (not to mention the intellectual worthlessness of a population in the habit of stirring up hostile surveillance mobs to inflict a chilling effect on any artist with an unconventional point of view), THIS WEBSITE IS LICENSED FOR USE OUTSIDE CANADA ONLY. If you are reading this website from within the borders of Canada, then you are pirating this website, and therefore, you could be sued for any damages that may result from this unlawful act of copyright infringement on your part UNLESS you close this window/tab immediately. TAKE OFF, EH!
MiCRO DiCKS is a fictional detective agency from an upcoming eponymous series of sexually explicit text adventure games. The President of MiCRO DiCKS is Powell Quesne, who must also, therefore, be fictional, but he is admittably substantially autobiographically based on the author of this website.
The mission of MiCRO DiCKS is to investigate unfulfilled fantasies, broken dreams — things that should have been — using microcomputer technology in as simple a text-only mode as possible, the better to keep the imagination stoked, but also to keep the kinds of outdated equipment relied on by MiCRO DiCKS useful for as long as possible. No need to go full 'try-hard' merely to impress anyone! That's the beauty of working for MiCRO DiCKS.
The manpower available to MiCRO DiCKS is, indeed, a bit thin. The active agent roster lists only the President and 'his staff', but there are several prospective new members currently being sized up to see if they don't have what it takes to join MiCRO DiCKS, so hopefully, you will spot increasing numbers of investigators with MiCRO DiCKS, in successive installments of this text adventure series.
While trying, apparently preposterously, to resuscitate a long-expired film directing career in his fifties, the President of MiCRO DiCKS, Powell Quesne, gets doxed and pushed into homelessness by a corrupt crowd of anti-art crypto-conservatives, who have previously excommunicated him from their scammy digital-coin cult out of hatred and fear of his flamboyant-but-uncannily-perspicacious "microcomputer investigation" techniques. As a vulnerably exposed homeless man, he is then harassed and harried into chronic sleeplessness, and robbed blind.
Quesne's private research, backgrounding several works of fiction in development by MiCRO DiCKS, ends up leaked by the thieves to government-linked martinets, perhaps without the necessary context, but persuading them regardless to misinterpret some of his preparatory notes, about a female fictional character who racially stereotypes men, as if they were intended to be published, verbatim, and as his own beliefs. Make no mistake: anyone in the universe of the story who has ever genuinely known Quesne, would instantly perceive this frame-up as unlikely — particularly the part where he was allegedly planning to unironically parrot the man-mocking caricatures of a sexist woman.
But it's of no use, because none of the aforementioned people who have ever genuinely known Quesne are invited to his secret 'drumhead' trial — nor is Quesne, for that matter. The martinets simply peremptorily declare MiCRO DiCKS pre-guilty of maybe-probably-going-to-violate their speech codes and thus farcically "fair game" for extreme pre-speech suppression tactics from a creepy new kind of extrajudicial real-life harassment mob that definitely should not be countenanced in any free country, yet is, all of a sudden, in the country of Canada — when it's for bullying MiCRO DiCKS into silence with false gossip.
Now, agents with MiCRO DiCKS must explore the labyrinth of President Quesne's mind to recover his mental journal from the time he spent as a homeless man on the streets of Vancouver, and retrace his eleven-month crawl under the belly of the urban beast, looking for a way to save the creative output of MiCRO DiCKS from being lost in this world.
MiCRO DiCKS will come pretty soon, but not necessarily too soon for you, depending on what you've got in mind for after. Some even seem to think that MiCRO DiCKS can't come soon enough. The simple truth is, MiCRO DiCKS will come when the occasion arises, perhaps unexpectedly, but repeatedly, in short spurts, driven mainly by internal processes...and bringing games-within-games along for the ride like "The Steganosaurs" and "Injection Quest", as well as in-game follow-ups to the stories "Beautiful" and "Bitcoin Mars".
Every game that will be available from this website will be sexually explicit and for adults only.
The point of MiCRO DiCKS is to fully explore the routes through the mind not taken by the mainstream. Explorers with MiCRO DiCKS need to be ready to assume the social risks of spending lots of time searching the imagination for those alternative, lesser-known paths, because most of the mainstream assholes out there are no longer interested in permitting penetrations by MiCRO DiCKS regardless of their politics.
It's true. Mainstream assholes of the year 2024 have gotten themselves clenched up well damned tight against MiCRO DiCKS, largely due to the consequences of over a decade of mutually anti-social wars amongst themselves for 'The Web' (all of which turned out to be stalking horses for a general return to mid-20th-Century-style vicious party politics).
So the corridors available to MiCRO DiCKS have been getting pinched off 'left' and 'right', but some could still be travelled by a truly open mind. Trouble is, in this era of knock-down/drag-out, post-Millenial thought repression, there appears to be nobody left occupying the kind of social position that permits even contemplating alternative viewpoints — that is, nobody other than MiCRO DiCKS.
A new paradigm is needed for MiCRO DiCKS, with tight new caves to spelunk — new worlds to explore — somewhere that today's mainstream assholes either can't go, or aren't interested in going, so that they won't just commandeer it for themselves and inevitably turn to shoving and bullying MiCRO DiCKS out the door. Creating that new MiCRO-DiCKS-friendly paradigm is, and always has been, the ultimate goal of MiCRO DiCKS, and that new paradigm now has a name, freshly fashioned out of what it will inceptionally never be. The name of this new universe, developed by and for MiCRO DiCKS, will be "Einthem", which is a recursive acronym that stands for, "Einthem is not the metaverse."
MiCRO DiCKS can build Einthem, surely. And MiCRO DiCKS will build Einthem, provided that mainstream assholes can be prevented from kicking over sand castles erected by MiCRO DiCKS (as they once again enjoy doing these days, as if ripped from the back pages of a '60s-era comic book), for at least long enough for Einthem's foundations to be laid, which is why building Einthem will continue to be a socially difficult, obstacle-rich course — but also why it's necessary in the first place.
MiCRO DiCKS will NOT accidentally-on-purpose build 'the metaverse' to help some crypto bros get richer quicker by rent-seeking on a bunch of 'gamers' pretending to 'play' a computer 'game' (which is supposed to be a pure and joyful experience) as if gaming is essentially like sitting at a slot machine. That sort of thing is never gonna happen with MiCRO DiCKS, and never could. The hell were you thinking, anyway, choking up on MiCRO DiCKS, of all people, with all that earn-or-burn crap?? Get yer creepy metaverse elsewhere, Biff Billions. Agents with MiCRO DiCKS investigate assets that are purely imaginary. For fun, y'dig?
This website and all productions of MiCRO DiCKS are works of fiction. While any part of these works may have been inspired by autobiographical events involving investigators with MiCRO DiCKS, the details have been changed into unrecognisably different terms. Thus, every character developed by MiCRO DiCKS is a complex amalgam of subjective observations about a variety of encounters between a variety of people and MiCRO DiCKS. Any resemblance of real-life personages or situations to the output of MiCRO DiCKS should be viewed as purely coincidental.
